The Testingtard's Lament: Boo-Hoo-in' Revolution

[Nietzslime]

long after giving up hope, the perfect summer job landed in my lap as if by special providence

yayy

[Phantasee]

most awkward conversation of my entire life

my mom told me to find a girlfriend now that i'm (almost) 24

i don't want to have this discussion! no! no no no no

i can't even look at her now

[Losonti Tokash]

i dunno dude i'd been dating rhea for like a month and my mom just blurts out to us "any babies you guys would be screwed since you both have horrible genes"

or the time in high school she found out i liked a black girl and freaked out

[Agent Bert Macklin]

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos- ... 7668_o.jpg

Implement an automatic re-size feature, ADR!

[Zod]

Chai cervical? Is it a good idea to be pouring tea there?

[Flagg]

i dunno dude i'd been dating rhea for like a month and my mom just blurts out to us "any babies you guys would be screwed since you both have horrible genes"

or the time in high school she found out i liked a black girl and freaked out

Did she cut you with the straight razor she hid in her weave?

[Flagg]

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos- ... 7668_o.jpg

Implement an automatic re-size feature, KING ADAM!

Jeffery?

[Agent Bert Macklin]

Chai cervical? Is it a good idea to be pouring tea there?

Haha. Dr. Chai did the procedure. He's a cool dude.

I know my name is spelled in a weird way, Flagg.

[Flagg]

No. It's spelled wrong.

[Agent Bert Macklin]

No. It's spelled wrong.

Blame the dumbasses who named my uncle that and my mother for doing the same. It's not my fault.

[Aaron]

Look at least your grandfather didn't write his own last name wrong on your fathers birth certificate.

[Director of Celestial Intelligence]

So yesterday my sister, her boyfriend, and I went on a road trip. Clarissa and Traven wanted to go back to Huntington and I was going to stay with my Dad in Boone County.

Approximation of what Boone county is like, Boone County is the white trash of white trash.

So yesterday we drove up from Elkins, well we stopped off in Summersville to meet Traven's old roommate, Scott, at Summersville Lake. Well we're swimming and cliff diving for about an hour when Scott decides he's going to jump out of a tree overhanging the cliff face into the water, the tree was wet from where it had been raining, he slipped and fell. I'm in the water right below him and I see him smack his left leg off the cliff face and hear a loud crack and I thought he may have hit his head on the cliff face. Thankfully he didn't and the crack was the sound of a rock breaking rather than his leg and he now has a bruised bone around his ankle. LOLrednecks doing stupid shit.

[Phantasee]

yolo

[Director of Celestial Intelligence]

yolo

Traven hates that phrase so when him and I were driving Scott to the hospital Scott and I joked that he YOLOed too hard.

I found a video of some people jumping where we were at, we were jumping from this exact rock, that tree on they're using to climb beside was the tree he fell out of. That berm is the top part of the Summersville Dam.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=rG0Q2v4hC70

[Phantasee]

I turn 24 today. I spent all of yesterday in a grey mood. I can't pin down what the cause is.

She texted me last night to wish me happy birthday, and it turned into a conversation. It was nice, I'd missed our conversations like that. Then abruptly she said we should stop because it will only make it worse.

Well, gee, that was helpful. Fuck.

[Phantasee]

It's like Return of the King or something, you think it's over, but nope. Here's the actual ending… or is it?

We haven't really stopped talking, how is it supposed to be over?

[Agent Bert Macklin]

What are you on about?

[Nietzslime]

he has one problem that jay-z lacks

[thejester]

phant have you considered new zealand garage rock


http://youtube.com/watch?v=4E1ptItaRR4

[Phantasee]

all of the above are probably correct

[Questor]

Phant, do you want an internet psychoanalysis?

[Agent Bert Macklin]

As long as it's psychos doing the analysis, I'd read it.

Just keep your chin up, Phant. Remember that there are people worse off than you. Remember that you can make things better for yourself.

[Phantasee]

i'm just in a foul mood

it'll pass

[Bounty]

It's Monday. It's raining. The sky is grey. I just filled out my tax return.

Vacation is not what I'd imagined it would be.

[Agent Bert Macklin]

I'll just say this: thank Christ for PDFs. They make my commute to school far more pleasant. No more back aches.