Lament 2: Cry Harder

[adr]

i've gotta go shovel again now

i got an amazing surprise present this morning: my neighbor ran his snowblower over half my sidewalk

so i only had to shovel the other half. sweet. but then i was still late to get to my grandmother's house so i only partially did my driveway.


when i returned the rest of my driveway was snow blowed too!!!!!

i'm pressing charges for trespassing bah humbug lol j/k

[Zablorg]

uugh i feel gross

i'm a uni student and i think the reason that i'm reluctant to pursue holiday jobs or work experience with any sort of energy is because i'm terrified of fucking things up once i've found one

right now it's no huge deal because my parents fund expenditures they deem necessary but i'm going to have to confront it soon

but i think i feel deep down that it would be better for everyone if i just didn't. this isn't a baseless fear because in my last job which was in pizza i was very slow to learn things and got overwhelmed by stuff and made a lot of people angry and made catastrophic errors some times and i think it's left a pretty huge impression on me

idk maybe my brain has matured to handle things better in general

but i am absolutely terrified to find out

[Bounty]

uugh i feel gross

i'm a uni student and i think the reason that i'm reluctant to pursue holiday jobs or work experience with any sort of energy is because i'm terrified of fucking things up once i've found one

I was in the same boat until my meds kicked in.

Everybody fucks up their student jobs. It's almost expected. That's why you get paid peanuts and have someone looking over your shoulder to stop you from fucking up.

The best student job I ever did was with a shitty software company that had more money than sense. I got hired for a project that got cancelled halfway through, but since nobody bothered to fire me I was put on Real Developer Things. I fucked up royal (to the degree where I didn't even know how bad I fucked up until I started learning about database queries and could recite the Do Not Do list just by recalling my average workweek) but I also learned through experience two things that still help me:

- You will fuck up
- It doesn't matter half as much as you think it does

The only thing I can tell you now with certainty is that, like all things, it gets easier the more you do it.

[Phantasee]

don't be afraid of fucking up

worst case you just don't list it on your cv and never ever list them as a reference

not that big a deal

[Zablorg]

yeah i guess i have to depersonalize the situation a lot

i'm also pretty frustrated at myself for letting it affect me for so long

ffffffffffffffffffffp

[Phantasee]

you know the way to get over that frustration?

become a sportswear commercial



JUST DO IT

[Nietzslime]

i spent this christmas night playfully bitching out the lead writer of the dragon age games for refusing to put more sparkles on my face

[Questor]

Huh? In person?

[Nietzslime]

indeed

would my preening have meaning if it weren't

[Zod]

Trying to find an apartment in New York is almost worse than trying to find a job. Except with even more corruption; oi.

[Stofsk]

i spent this christmas night playfully bitching out the lead writer of the dragon age games for refusing to put more sparkles on my face

are you tight with david gaider

[Oxymoron]

tight

[Nietzslime]

i spent this christmas night playfully bitching out the lead writer of the dragon age games for refusing to put more sparkles on my face

are you tight with david gaider

that certainly seems to be the situation

[Zablorg]

hey put in a good word for me

[Straha]

My debaters have gotten quite adept at giving me migraines.

[Oxymoron]

How so ?

[Phantasee]

Neitz

I miss you man

[Nietzslime]

sorry man

if i had been in oiltown more than a day i would have hit you up

[Gands]

sam and i spent xmas night watching die hard and then lethal weapon two

the next day we watched the whole extended lotr trilogy

xmas is awesome

[timmy]

DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY!

[Gands]

IT'S JUST BEEN REVOKED

HANS! HAAANS!

[Oxymoron]

A few minutes ago the power went out. While I was working on my computer. Everything went black at the same time, the stereo going "BLONK!" and lights going dark.

At two in the morning.

Alone in the dark.

It was so sudden I panicked and cried "WHAAAAAAA- WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON ?" (well the equivalent in French, and not in a dignified tone)

I almost immediately went to see my dad who had just gone to bed, he was already going to search for a torch. Then the power went back.



Goddammit, call me a wuss but I'k still shaking. That was terryfing. Everything is normal, and in a split second, everything dies and go silent. As if everything that made up my world died, leaving me alone in the very literal darkness.

That's... man, this puts things in perspective...

[RogueIce]

I almost immediately went to see my dad who had just gone to bed, he was already going to search for a torch.

French people are pretty badass.

[Oxymoron]

this kind of torch, or whatever you call that : http://www.lampemania.com/Files/20454/L ... oire-2.gif

[Aaron]

Flashlight