The Return of Testing Chat Thread

[Bakustra]

it's a long story, but basically someone wrote a post about how skimpily-dressed women at sci-fi cons prey on nerds, and then one of the good people of the somethingawful forums made fun of it, and they demanded in an email to the administration that the word "fanfiction" not be used to describe their novels about magical bishonen giving each other blowjobs in a tom clancy future. so i decided, in all my stupidity, to write what i believed to be an obvious joke, and they took it seriously and assumed that i was a legal rep for somethingawful.

[joviwan]

and this is why we just say 'no' to the internet.

[Glass Fort MacLeod]

Writing a story in SB CrW that doesn't revolve around spaceships or fighting turns out to be a nice way to depress yourself wrt how stunted the nerd artistic palette really is.

You need to make a force chart of depression on SB.

[Losonti Tokash]

and now baks understands why you don't touch the poop

[Bakustra]

and now baks understands why you don't touch the poop

im pretty sure that it's too funny right now for that to be a lesson i have learned, actually

[Losonti Tokash]

shit that's true

is this publically viewable or was it just your email

[Bakustra]

shit that's true

is this publically viewable or was it just your email

email, but

From: Small Tomatoes smalltomatoespress@gmail.com
Sent: Tuesday, December 04, 2012 6:10 PM
To: webmaster@somethingawful.com
Subject: A request to delete, cease and desist.

Dear Something Awful,

I realize that you are a forum with threads dedicated to mocking games and satirical responses to such. These threads are as close to anything goes as they get. However, recently one of our authors was attacked by "Gau" on the grognards.txt thread (approximately pages 273-278.) Gau described the speculative fiction book -- that is, a book having no connection to gaming per se -- as "YA alternate history military submarine fanfiction featuring teenagers with magical powers who give each other blowjobs because they're such good friends." Gau also revealed the gender of the author, as he knows them in real life. This is, unfortunately, a potential legal issue for us. While we cannot say anything about the responses to our thoughtful blog series on the matter of "Fake Geek Girls" and nor do we seek to, I'm afraid that we are going to have ask that you remove the reference to fan-fiction and the author's gender. I realize this represents a significant amount of work, but such statements could have legal repercussions for us, and they need to be removed.

Thank you kindly,

Small Tomatoes Press

To whom it may concern,

As a party in the case you submitted to the SomethingAwful dot c-o-m department, having laughed, chuckled, and, admittedly, guffawed at the description of the works of E. Stoop that incorporated the phrase "f*nfiction", I must question under which grounds you expect possible legal repercussions to come from. Considering the popularity of such works as 50 Shades of Grey, Sherlock Holmes Fucks The Author, the collected works of Cassandra Claire, and Light in August, let alone the continued existence of Naomi Novik, there don't seem to be any notable repercussions for selling f*nfiction, apart from the slings and arrows of derision and/or literary fame. To say the least, legal insulation from those two seems rather out of keeping with any human jurisprudence. Are you, perhaps, an extraterrestrial entity, operating a blog and misunderstanding the points of difference between Earthling law and Parvatomatisian law? In that case, I would be willing to assist in understanding the finer details. For hire, of course.

Yours,
Bill Ashbless, MMy

Thank you for your swift response. Unfortunately, it is not satisfactory. We understand that you do not perhaps comprehend the matter completely so we will try to provide a more detailed description regarding the issue.

1. "Gau" has shared E. Stoops's private, personal information with the SA forum. Your rules specifically prohibit this with the following statement "Please do not post others' personal information (phone number, addresses, emails, etc.)." As E. Stoops' gender is deliberately kept private, this falls into the 'etc' category provided. This information is not available to anyone in the commercial sphere deliberately. However, Gau chose to share this information as he knows E. Stoops in real life. According to your own rules, this is a breech in appropriate conduct for SA members. We would like all references to E. Stoops gender to be removed.

2. Naomi Novik, Cassandra Claire, and the other examples you have cited are aberrations in the world of publishing. While it is obvious to any and all that 'dressed up fanfiction' has become a real moneymaker, most everyone accepts that in each of the examples you've provided, original content was dreamed up by the author and included to give at least the veneer of original fiction. That is, they are not selling characters under copyright in new adventures. They are selling expies. Which while essentially the same thing, legally it more or less automatically makes something NOT fanfiction, regardless of its roots. We are selling neither fanfiction nor expies Having work described as fanfiction creates a host of potential problems:

a. Anyone with a similar book could hit us with a law suit. They could bring up Gau's review as evidence that the work was recognized as fanfiction at this time. (This statement can build precedence.)
b. Any similarities with another work that appear later in the series could ALSO become cases that use Gau's words as evidence that the series deliberately aped other authors for monetary gain.
c. It brings all books under the umbrella of Small Tomaotes Press under suspicion, which means that anything else we publish by E. Stoops or anyone else that bears incidental similarity with another work could also be contested in a lawsuit citing Gau's statement.

Is this thin? Is this unlikely? Yes, right now it very much is. We accept that. However, we have to consider our future and in the future, it could suddenly become a big deal, especially in sue-happy America. We mean to be reasonable. We are not asking that Gau's assumptions regarding the author of blog posts be taken down, we are not asking that his remarks towards our blog be removed. The summary of the book, which is patently wrong, may also stay. We are simply asking that all references to the gender of our author and the word fanfiction be removed.

Thank you,

Small Tomatoes Press

To the entity referred to as Small Tomatoes Press by Blogspot,

Well, I checked on this "Gau" character, and I discovered him in an SNES cartridge, but no matter how many questions I asked him using improvised Morse code, he just repeated the same things! I'm afraid that corroborating your accusations will require some more time, sir, madam, or elf. Since you obviously have some form of contact with him, have you considered trying for an out-of-court settlement? That may cause him to let something slip.

I would prefer it if you would use fewer obscenities in your responses. While I am a hardened person of the world and quite familiar with such words as "pr*vacy", "in*ppropri*te", and "f*nfiction", this is nevertheless a delicate machine and your initial email caused it to make distressing sighs and print out warnings that it was getting the vapors. Suffice it to say, to catch the motherfuckin' SOB will take a working Psylink Terminal (c).

However, I do have to warn you that it may take a matter of years to get such things as references to f*nfiction removed. Feral tribes of robots haunt the hallways leading to the servers, large parts of the software are run using surplus MULTIVAC and Difference Engines, and there are persistent warnings of the necessity of blood sacrifice to activate certain sections of the database. It's a huge mess, really.

That all being said, the use of "expy" may harm your case. There is a ruling pending before the 20th Circuit Court that would render the use of "tr*perisms" viable evidence to negate torts or even throw out criminal charges. I would sincerely recommend restricting your usage of such terms, unless you were using the colloquial abbreviation for "expressway", in which case I am very confused to learn that apparently William Faulkner sold roads to people.

Furthermore, and relating to my continued efforts at interrogating "Gau", in order to make these things stick and send him to Sing Sing for 20 to life, we're gonna need to prove credibility. Do you have any examples from your and/or E. Stoops' interactions with "Gau" to give reason for the court to believe him to be a credible authority on matters such as f*nfiction? Because if not, I'm afraid that you're going to have to make use of the "Public Domain" defense, or potentially even the "Third Punic War" defense. Might I suggest the "Journal of Submarine Commander von Forstner", as it bears sufficient resemblance (e.g. in the categories of submarines, bishonen, oral sex, magical powers, and the First World War) to your work(s) as to render it(them)[em]{eir} legally unassailable.

Also, given the apparent vulnerability of books to charges of f*nfiction, such that a man writing an obviously-inaccurate review can nevertheless threaten the entire credibility of your burgeoning publishing empire, have you given though to starting a campaign to tighten legal defenses and avoid future tragedies like this? I think that, for the sake of not only you, but all other authors writing y*oi sci-fi stories, it should be carried out.

Regards,
Scott Crane, III

too subtle?

[Losonti Tokash]

man so is that comic illustrator dude that wrote a giant paragraph where he used the phrase "con hot"

[Dooey Jo]

it's fun when people say "well communism is a good concept but it doesn't work"

it's one of those things they have learned to repeat

but when you think about it, a concept that doesn't work is actually pretty bad; indeed that is how we distinguish between good and bad ideas

i guess if they were told outright to deny even the desirability of such a society the cognitive dissonance would be too great

[Bakustra]

man so is that comic illustrator dude that wrote a giant paragraph where he used the phrase "con hot"

no, it's this lady:

The biggest piece of criticism we've received regarding the last few posts is that we are rather mistaken thinking that the nerd community has female predators among them against which they need to protect themselves. It's not the only criticism that we've received, but it is the one that I think bears response the most. Saying that the nerd community knows no female predators is both self-delusional and irresponsible. Self delusion is fine, until it gets you hurt, but you may do as you please with your own self. However, irresponsibly can have much more drastic consequences.

I've unfortunately, so far, only paid lip service to a couple of ideas that are integral to my last few posts. One, that there exists a basic definition of a genuine nerd, two that there are ways to act in nerd spaces, and three, that the nerd community treats womenfolk (and certain other minorities) very differently than their men. I'd like to go ahead and tackle these ideas in their own post.

Underdressed hot messes do a number of things that people in sexy, but not hypersexualized costumes could never achieve:

1. They change the tone of the con from family friendly to a more adult atmosphere. Nerds come in many ages, and younger nerds have, at some cons, been entirely driven out by the adult element. An adult, non-nerdy element. (Why should those people have control over a nerd community space, exactly?)
2. They attract more of the same. (Which is what gives them control of the space. Because at times, party-hearty types completely outnumber the nerds.)
3. Younger members of the fandom begin to mimic this behavior/mode of dress. (Nerd parents are probably some of the most vocal proponents of children not growing up too fast. They also tend to be pillars of the nerd community. If a con becomes adult only, you can kiss those people goodbye. And of course, you get the prostitot brigade too, which doesn't really know what it is doing.)
4. They attract the 'cruising dudes' element. (Of these issues, the most immediate trouble is the cruising dudes element because they tend to get into fisticuffs with people.)
5. They cause all kinds of trouble for genuine nerd women, who will sometimes leave rather than try to take back their territory.

[Dooey Jo]

"genuine nerd" "their territory"


man that's pretty hilarious, how dare you go after my guys they are delicate creatures who need nice nerd girls like me

but then of course the guy side of "nerd culture" is at the least just as awful and it's like

man

stop being such fucking nerds people

[Glass Fort MacLeod]

Three things leap out with me reading all that

1.) We must protect kids from the boobs and dangly genital bits because it might corrupt them and we must THINK OF THE CHILDREN. American puritanism FTW?

2.) Segregation is a good thing, and should be upheld as much as possible especially in nerd-dom.

3.) ITs all about control. I am not entirely sure to the full extent that control matters in this, but all the little comments indicate a definite obsession with control.

[adr]

any real nerd would never go to a con anyway

going to a con means leaving the basement

[Aaron]

Wonder how long before someone calls for the murder of the entire Syrian government and claims they can't handle democracy in the chem weapons thread.

[Flagg]

Wonder how long before someone calls for the murder of the entire Syrian government and claims they can't handle democracy in the chem weapons thread.

About as long as it takes for fgalkin to wake up, take a dump, eat it, and then turn on his computer.

[Aaron]

Oh man, I think I threw up a little. What a terrible image, not even my idiot dog is that bad.

[Flagg]

Mine is a little shiteater. It's so disgusting, but we can't afford the pills that make them stop doing it (though that will change).

[Aaron]

Jesus, there's pills for that? Why do they do it anyways?

[Flagg]

Yeah, I guess it just makes the shit taste bad. Because you need a pill for that to happen, apparently. I have no idea why they do it. No one seems to know that I've talked to about it anyway.

[adr]

http://www.foxnews.com/world/2012/12/05 ... into_bombs

Syrian forces have mixed chemical weapons and loaded them into bombs in preparation for possible use on President Bashar Assad's own people, Fox News confirms.

A senior U.S. official told Fox News that bombs were loaded with components of sarin gas, a deadly nerve gas. Syrian forces have 60 days to use these bombs until the chemical mixture expires and has to be destroyed.

They link this as the original report

The Syrian military is prepared to use chemical weapons against its own people and is awaiting final orders from President Bashar Assad, U.S. officials told NBC News on Wednesday.

so a us official (aka, a liar) told one propaganda outlet something

and another propaganda outlet "confirms" it by asking another "senior" us official (aka, a bigger liar)



god bless america and our first amendment

[Aaron]

They deliberately picked one of the best known and worst agents then, Sarin.

[adr]

Syria prolly has sarin gas, but the important thing to notice is the only source saying they are going to be used are U.S. government officials. The NBC report that (as far as I can tell) broke the story, says "officials said" in 14 out of the 18 paragraphs! The Fox link "confirmed" the report, not by looking for a third party's statement, nor doing on the ground investigations.... but by calling the same source NBC had: the US government.

And, of course, the us government don't exactly have a good track record for honesty... but you don't see even a sliver of skepticism out of the American mainstream media.


For what it's worth (not much) the Syrian government and the Russian foreign minister strongly denied the weapons are going to be used. I'm more likely to believe this than the US scaremongering, not because Syrian liars and Russian liars are more believable than American liars, but because it is more logical: using the chemical weapons, especially when there's an American aircraft carrier parked outside and a Turkish army up north, both of which smell blood in the water already, is virtually guaranteed to lead to Assad's death and his government's total destruction.

In short, it's obviously suicide.


Meanwhile, Haaretz published rumors that President Assad is thinking about fleeing the country and is putting out feelers for someone to take him in. The Syrian government denied the report, but of course they would: to do otherwise is to admit defeat.

[RyanThunder]

and there are persistent warnings of the necessity of blood sacrifice to activate certain sections of the database. It's a huge mess, really.

[Jung]

post it here then
tiny audience, but you know there's a number of people who'll appreciate/maybe offer criticism on the sort of stuff you're talking about

Well here's a link if anybody wants to look at it

I dunno if it's actually any good, its hard to tell from the audience reaction

[RogueIce]

like nbsg, its not really a plan though

I approve of this plan without reading what the plan is first.