POETRY SLAM

[evilsoup]

Suppose you're in an out-of-control train. The train's path forks and you can either continue ahead or turn right.
If you do nothing, you ram into Hitler.
If you turn, you ram into ten Hitlers.

What do you do?

[Crazedwraith]

oh yay. a new and exciting sdn parody like we've never seen before.

[evilsoup]

Look im bored ok

[Big Orangutan]

Having been in the real world and read lots of books, I find the worser talk forums to be hubs of delusion and intellectual wanking (with some insight and facts amid the garbage).

[Crazedwraith]

Look im bored ok

okay fine. my first reaction was squish the 10 hilters. more dead hilters = more dead evil. That's glorious objective FACT you dilly-dally, no-thinker headwearlover!


the point that make about the ten hitlers being more prone to infighting is interesting. But thats weenie sociological nonesense. And anyway one hitler is likely not going to be much trouble anyway without a power base and strapped to a trainline

happy shoefornicator?

[adr]

My choice is to reject your false dilemma and just hit the brakes.

Then, I recruit the hitlers to join my jihad against the machines. A Hitlerian Jihad if you will.

[The Spartan]

I'm from Texas so I just shoot everyone.

Problem solved, you palm-fucking, donkey rapists.

[Big Orangutan]

How are there ten Hitlers, a Nazi clone lab beneath Antarctica?

[Bakustra]

D) derail the train to save all eleven Hitlers.

[Civil War Man]

I unhook the rear cars and then turn. The train engine hits the 10 Hitlers, while the rest of the train keeps going and runs over Hitler.

[Stofsk]

I reprogram the simulation to make it possible to both kill and not kill the hitlers

#OriginalThinking, #IDon'tBelieveInANo-WinScenario

[timmy]

Cadet Stofsk you are on dodeca-secret probation.

[evilsoup]

aww you guys
I knew you wouldn't let me down

[RogueIce]

Cadet Stofsk you are on dodeca-secret probation.

Does that mean he's going to be promoted directly to Captain in a few days?

[Crazedwraith]

then fuck up and be demoted to commander before being repromoted in the next scene. Rendering the whole thing pointless.

[Stofsk]

Guys

I promise I'll make a better captain than that

I have my years of experience in STO to fall back on

[RogueIce]

So hordes of your crew will die while scanning anomalies, playing Dabo and recreating Hamlet in the holodeck?

[Stofsk]

Nope, because I only use green doffs and above for doff assignments.

Common doffs get 'transferred' to man Starbase construction projects. Permanently.

[RogueIce]

Well they still get injured so I guess you keep your CMO busy. But hey, best Captain ever confirmed.

[uraniun235]

see, to my mind, the way to short-circuit non-provided answers would be to say "attempting to derail the train or repair the brakes or take any action besides the ones provided to you will, with absolute certainty, cause the train to crash into and painfully maim and kill busloads of innocent children, whose circumstances would have guaranteed that they would grow up to contribute in a meaningful and carbon-negative fashion to society. (feel free to take this ill-conceived joke of mine further)

[uraniun235]

also this thread inspired me to go check out the internet's enclave of logical discussion, and holy lol is that place fuckin' dead or what

[RogueIce]

see, to my mind, the way to short-circuit non-provided answers would be to say "attempting to derail the train or repair the brakes or take any action besides the ones provided to you will, with absolute certainty, cause the train to crash into and painfully maim and kill busloads of innocent children, whose circumstances would have guaranteed that they would grow up to contribute in a meaningful and carbon-negative fashion to society. (feel free to take this ill-conceived joke of mine further)

Aren't nuns usually involved for some reason?

[timmy]

also this thread inspired me to go check out the internet's enclave of logical discussion, and holy lol is that place fuckin' dead or what

Did you not see the hilarious N&P thread on LOL PEAK OIL WAS A GYP

[Darksi4190]

Yes. God forbid the predictions of DOOM go unfulfilled.

[uraniun235]

also this thread inspired me to go check out the internet's enclave of logical discussion, and holy lol is that place fuckin' dead or what

Did you not see the hilarious N&P thread on LOL PEAK OIL WAS A GYP

I didn't! Are there any "best of" nuggets to be found?

(And speaking of the old "EVERYTHING IS GOING DOWN, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE CITIES" days, has anyone heard from old Valders? Last I remember he was having a pretty tough time of things.)

Honestly, I don't regularly visit there any more - I think of the last few times I've gone there, it's more often been to look up something I posted or remembered having seen. And I'd have to look to see when the last time I posted there was.