Bitching bitching.

[Flagg]

Well I apologize for assuming you wanted me banned.

[Oxymoron]

The only thing I would like to say myself is

"grow a thicker skin" isn't really a good defense to criticism on a general basis

because it only serve to :

1/ reinforce the person saying it in his / her position
2/ antagonize the person it's said to
3/ and poison the well for any later discussion

and I'm sorry to say but this is the kind of shit that I heavily dislike


Don't take it as a personal attack, Flagg, I'm just stating something that apply not just to you but to anyone who has used this argument here and anywhere else.

I'm mean, given we're already putting all our problems on the table, I might as well expose mines regarding this board's culture.

[Flagg]

The thing is, I don't believe that your right to be offended by something not meant to cause offense supersedes my right to use the English language. There are limits, which I for the most part respect here in my old age, like I would never use the n-word or the f-word for obvious reasons, but something like "bitching" is so innocuous and harmless that taking offense to it seems to me like doing it just to be offended. Which is annoying when it's a constant barrage like it has been here.

[Oxymoron]

Sure.

But in this case, the best thing to do is to offer the kind of constructive criticism you just made, and not to, in short, tell the other to "get the fuck off" (so to speak).


I suppose what I'm trying to say is that even when you're pissed, it pays off to be courteous when talking to people.

[Infinity Biscuit]

Hey Flagg, I do apologise if it seems you're being unduly targeted here. It's the behavior itself I have a problem with, not you, and if it seems as if it's aimed at you personally it's not my intent and I'm sorry.

[Losonti Tokash]

I think he should grow a thicker skin and stop whining.

[Flagg]

I think he should grow a thicker skin and stop whining.

Hey now. No one came out of the French Revolution happy.

[Oxymoron]

I think he should grow a thicker skin and stop whining.

Just to make sure... Have you read what I've written in the past two pages of this thread ?

[Losonti Tokash]

Yeah. I'm actually incredibly tired of coddling abusive behavior from poor babies who can't moderate themselves.

[Oxymoron]

Good, just making sure.

So, then, what do you propose ?

[Flagg]

Yeah. I'm actually incredibly tired of coddling abusive behavior from poor babies who can't moderate themselves.

Babies?! Your ageism is offensive!

[Oxymoron]

You're not helping.

[adr]

Bullshit. It was brought up because I said bitching.

you know odds are ppl would have led it slide if not for what happened immediately before in the other thread los locked. this isn't the first time and we're getting pretty sick of it

But suddenly it's a huge deal despite the fucking board owner using the term bitch as a pejorative a few weeks ago.

you know, let's look at the search. I have a total of 3 instances (outside this thread) in the last year an a half of 'bitch', and no search hits at all on 'pussy', 'sissy', 'cunt', 'twat', 'retard', and some others. I used to use 'fucktard' somewhat commonly in years past, but in part thanks to Losanti saying something about 'retard', I've stopped using it and all variants entirely in the last couple years, and have been pretty successful. it isn't that hard.

i'm still not perfect, still not good enough, but a big improvement over where I used to be, and this is because I've made a conscious effort to change it after realizing the big picture

and that's what i'm asking from the rest of you guys: make an effort to care. that's more important than any one word

[Flagg]

Bullshit. It was brought up because I said bitching.

you know odds are ppl would have led it slide if not for what happened immediately before in the other thread los locked. this isn't the first time and we're getting pretty sick of it

But suddenly it's a huge deal despite the fucking board owner using the term bitch as a pejorative a few weeks ago.

you know, let's look at the search. I have a total of 3 instances (outside this thread) in the last year an a half of 'bitch', and no search hits at all on 'pussy', 'sissy', 'cunt', 'twat', 'retard', and some others. I used to use 'fucktard' somewhat commonly in years past, but in part thanks to Losanti saying something about 'retard', I've stopped using it and all variants entirely in the last couple years, and have been pretty successful. it isn't that hard.

i'm still not perfect, still not good enough, but a big improvement over where I used to be, and this is because I've made a conscious effort to change it after realizing the big picture

and that's what i'm asking from the rest of you guys: make an effort to care. that's more important than any one word

Well it's pretty obvious I care, since I don't use a fuckton of words I used to use regularly. But the fact of the matter is that you said bitch in a derogatory way while I didn't but no one said shit because at the end of the day the biggest complainers about it, except Los, don't really find "bitching" offensive, they just want something to complain about. And if you do find it offensive, then take your own advice and get over it.

[Oxymoron]

Given it was intended as a ranting thread I may as well...

I am starting to grow tired of you all, with your incessant quabbles and your inabilities to listen to each other.


I guess Connor wasn't completely wrong when he said that thing about packs of wolves / wolfpack mentality...

[Glass Fort MacLeod]

Might I suggest people actually.. stop posting in this thread for like a day or so and take a breath to at leats relax? It seems like people are taking this shit way too personally and I'm starting to see a resurrection of the old fighting/arguments that happened between Testing/Senate, Testingstan/SDN, etc. and thats NOT a good thing. You have two (well at least two) opposing viewpoints about how the board should operate and what its identity is, and its clear that not everyone can agree on it because everyone has an idea of how it SHOULD be.

Unfortunately only one side (Los and ADR's) actually have any influence in that regard, and I suspect the majority is in their position. I, personally, am inclined to agree with their position (and even if I didn't I still probably would comply because they're the ones in charge. Shit happens.) But since this is basically going down the same 'civil war' route that has gone on in the past, I think we can cut to the chase of one eventual outcome: Someone gets banned, or people leave in disgust over the way the board culture is/board operates. Unless something changes, or some sort of compromise/understanding is reached, I doubt its going to get any other way, and the arguing is just unneccesarily stressful.

[joviwan]

I would prefer people not to be jerks, but for those who want to be jerks, the board provides me the option of ignoring them, which I already use.

[RyanThunder]

But seriously, guys. Calm the fuck down, already. Flagg will be Flagg. When he's funny, laugh at it, when he isn't, scroll over it, or just ignore him entirely if you really just can't handle it.

[F.J. Prefect, Esq]

The thing is, I don't believe that your right to be offended by something not meant to cause offense supersedes my right to use the English language.

Because obviously we're 'offended' as opposed to calling you out for what is just intrinsically bad behaviour.

[Flagg]

The thing is, I don't believe that your right to be offended by something not meant to cause offense supersedes my right to use the English language.

Because obviously we're 'offended' as opposed to calling you out for what is just intrinsically bad behaviour.

People have said several times that it's because people might be offended so I don't see where you're coming from. I don't think you know, either.

[F.J. Prefect, Esq]

You said 'your'. Seems pretty obvious you're talking about us the inhabitants of the board. Not that it matters if you're talking more generally. End of the day you're just a big whiny child who can't handle getting told off for your poor behaviour. By all means continue to pretend you have some kind of moral high ground.

[evilsoup]

This is the greatest thread in the history of the board

[RyanThunder]

You said 'your'. Seems pretty obvious you're talking about us the inhabitants of the board. Not that it matters if you're talking more generally. End of the day you're just a big whiny child who can't handle getting told off for your poor behaviour. By all means continue to pretend you have some kind of moral high ground.

I don't think he really does have any moral high ground, but that doesn't mean you guys aren't being any less ridiculous.

[Losonti Tokash]

I would like it to be incredibly clear that simply ignoring racism, misogyny, etc only enables and normalizes the behavior. It should be challenged whenever it comes up and saying "get over it" or "just ignore it" is callous and offensive to people negatively affected by it. You do not have the right to tell people they're ridiculous when hurt or offended by terms that use their gender, race, etc as an insult.

You can go do it somewhere else if you feel compelled to be an asshole, but I'm tired of tolerating it here.

[RyanThunder]

You aren't hurt nor are you offended. But eh. Just go write up the approved list of epithets so we can move on already.